Joe's Christmas list

Just in case I decide to become an evil genius (half-way there, right?) with plans to take over the world, I'll need an Exomos Submarine of my own, and maybe a few more for my henchmen. I've always wanted henchmen. I've always wanted a lackey, or maybe a flunkie, but I think that's just the non-evil way of saying that I want henchmen. But not a sidekick. That's for superheroes and wild West good guys. I'm definitely leaning toward a bunch of evil henchmen to do my evil bidding. Anyway, the personal submarine would be cool for me and my henchmen.

Disappointingly, Webster's doesn't even touch on an evil connotation of henchman, but does mention "for personal advantage," which at least makes it sound like a selfish thing to want, if not necessarily evil. Maybe I need some minions, instead.

Maybe I'm not the only one looking for a Christmas present. Maybe there's someone thinking about Jim who could use a little help in the gift department. And, no, I don't mean a "No Parking" sign for the basement. I'm referring to the PlayLimit, with the catchy, yet extremely unoriginal slogan, "The Smart Way to Let Kids Play."

Homework done? Here's a token. Chores done? Here's another token. Planning on staying up all night trying to get to the hidden parts of Grand Theft Auto? Oh, so sorry, time's up!

Uh, wait, can't I just hide another set of cables under the bed to get around the PlayLimit?