Joe's Christmas list

Check it out before you laugh. The website for the Beer Belly is completely up front about how you can use this to beat the $10.00 Orioles Park beer, and even gives a couple of hints about what to say if you're caught. I'm thinking this would also work with those endless tee-ball games, the Build-A-Bear Workshop birthday parties, and Saturday afternoon lawn mowing.

I'm pretty sure this was designed to keep a can of Jolt cold until the next break in your late-night hacking sessions, but I can't help but wonder if the USB Beverage Chiller would keep a pint glass of Yuengling Porter a little below room temperature while I'm searching out other stupid gadgets to add to this blog.

Maybe I'll find one in my stocking this year.

Finally, a better solution than "EEEEEKKKK!!! Get it!" I'm not sure if the Spider Catcher could be considered exactly humane, but it beats that ugly smear on the wall.

By the way, and you can check with my kids - I'm a strictly catch-and-release guy when it comes to spiders.

Huh? Why not just walk? The video clip of the Treadmill Bike doing jumps is worth the time it took to follow this link. The guys in the video are working on a how-to video for using a Kleenex as a parachute.

Seriously, what's the point? This seems to combine the worst of many worlds. It's like jogging, except you don't get there as fast. It's like riding a bike, but with full impact on your knees. It's like a treadmill in your basement, without the comfort of looking like an idiot in the privacy of your own home. It's like throwing away money on something cool that your neighbors don't have, without getting anything your neighbors think is cool.

Oh, wait. I get it. It beats the crap out of the Hula Bike.

If only the wives could appreciate the subtlety of Monty Python. I need two of these Killer Rabbits (one for each of my kids).

Now, go away before I blog you a second time!

It's so hard to down that 6-pack of Natty Bo between the time I close the garage door and the time the rent-a-cop asks me if I have anybody in the back of the minivan (like I'm going to tell her about the carload of terrorists I'm bringing in - those guys don't even drink!)

Here's the answer to all my beer-guzzling needs. Don't try this on a can of Guinness with that little "widget" think, and good luck piercing a Foster's Oil Can, but for the rest of the run-of-the-mill taste-free beer cans, get 'em down the gullet with the Shotgun Beer Opener.

Smart Lid Systems - A color-changing disposable coffee cup lid

The name says it all. It just leaves out a minor detail - anybody over the age of 8 ought to have figured this out already. Perhaps the name "Smart Lid" refers to the fact that this 1-cent piece of plastic is actually smarter than those it is intended to protect.

On the other hand, the side of me who really wants to be making a fortune in the business world realizes that an $0.01 less profit for a cup of coffee is probably a bargain compared to the millions of dollars that some moron would try to sue me for when they burn the second most sensitive part of their body.

Check out the Smart Lid.